forget me not
by chibiaries
Summary: She smiles at him brilliantly, irresistibly and it leaves him breathless.


**Title**: forget-me-not

**Pairing**: LelouchxShirley

**Summary**: She smiles at him, brilliantly, irresistibly, and it leaves him breathless.

**Genre**: Romance/Angst

Reposted, polished up some parts...

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_"Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for __love__?_ Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without any meaning or purpose!

_----_**Agent Smith** from _The Matrix Revolutions_

_...Can I believe in love that will never change for eternity...?  
I dissolve the pattern of my sighs into the sweet tea.  
I'm already tired of waiting.  
I chase after you and fall into wonderland…_

_---_"Maze" Pandora Hearts ED (translation)

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_

Slim fingers tug at, and finally loosen the black tie around his neck, and the tall, well-dressed businessman exhales a quiet sigh of relief. The dark jacket goes next, one hand slinging it casually over his shoulder as his sharp violet eyes narrow in thought.

Really, his programming duties in the top research company in Area Eleven weren't quite as disagreeable as he expected; besides providing a comfortable income it had offered him numerous opportunities to slip messages and bits and pieces of information past government censors by the hacker alias "Zero' which would eventually chip away at the tyranny of the Britannian gov —

"Lulu!"

Before his mind can even register the voice calling his name, he is playfully tackled onto the ground, slender arms curled around his neck in a gentle embrace.

He coughs, slightly winded from the impact onto the grassy field, despite the fact that it had grown lush and green from the recent summer rain.

Cool fingers dance through his hair, brushing back his mussed bangs of ebony to trace the curves of his porcelain pale face.

"Shirley?"

She skips to her feet gracefully, giggling at his half-startled, half-bemused expression.

He sits up, watches her spin around barefoot in the meadow, and his lips twitch unconsciously into a relaxed smile.

Her head of waist-long hair, the color of ripe apricots, fairly glows against the brilliant blue of the sky, contrasting with the white of her simple sun dress; a floppy straw hat perches jauntily on the top of her head, adding a touch of whimsy to the picturesque scene.

Shirley continues twirling around him in dizzying circles, as if her feet had cast off the chains of gravity, granting her unseen wings.

Lelouch stands, his jacket abandoned on the sea of green and his tie left carelessly hanging around his collar; a light breeze wafts the heady scents of blooming honeysuckle and lilacs.

"Lulu!"

His half-lidded eyes open, his gaze flashing from drowsiness to an intense alertness; he is constantly attuned to_ her_ presence, _her_ happiness. She runs to his side in light, nimble steps, her hat still atop of her tawny waves, despite her constant whirlwind of movements.

"I'll race you to the top of that hill!" She points to a mound in the distance, a pale green blanket interspersed with splashes of wildflowers. Her soft hand slips into his and their fingers interweave like ribbons, locking into an unbreakable chain; she pulls him along gently, encouragingly.

He tries to frown disapprovingly; after five years together she knows he can't run very quickly, or for that matter, engage in any physical activity at all without embarassing himself. But Shirley looks at him, with a teasing spark in her eyes and a mischievous quirk to her mouth, and he knows his pride will not let him back down from the challenge.

Sighing, he smiles in resignation—after all, he could never refuse her anything she wished.

"Ah! My hat!"

He sees her turn in surprise as a sudden gust of wind lifts her boater away, flying from the tips of her fingers.

Her hand pulls slightly away from his grip, and without wholly knowing why, he tightens his hold.

Somehow, he can't breathe at the thought of her slipping away from him.

"What is it, Lulu?" She peers inquisitively at his face. Shirley takes another step towards him, her honey-gold eyes quizzical and bright.

Suddenly, she smiles at him, brilliantly, irresistibly, and it leaves him breathless.

His chest tightens with a feeling he cannot name.

"Is Lulu worried that if he lets me go, I'll fly away?" Her tone is light, teasing. She disengages her hand from his grasp and darts away from him as swiftly as a startled doe. His fingers dangle forlornly at his side, empty and feeling suddenly cold.

Surprisingly, she stops ten paces away and turns around to wave at him.

He hears her voice, cheerful and chirping as a sparrow.

"Don't worry!" Her voice softens. "Don't worry, Lulu. I'll come back. I'll always come back to you because I…"

A sharp crack cuts off the rest of her words.

He sees her falling, falling, falling, her pink lips curved into an 'O' of surprise, her golden-green eyes gleaming, her hair fluttering in silky persimmon waves.

His violet eyes widen to see the rose of scarlet against her white dress, blossoming above her heart.

A wild scream tears itself out of his throat, and he is running, running as he never has before to catch her in his arms.

"No! No, no, no…" He is terrified to see her like this, pale and limp, and there is so much _red_, staining her dress and spilling onto his hands, soaking the grass below.

_It's happening all over again._

"Live! Shirley, please live! Live!"

_Don't leave me here alone._

She smiles sadly at him, and it stabs his heart, twists his insides with despair.

This cannot be happening. It cannot.

"I'm sorry…Lulu…"

Her eyes close, the gold disappearing from his sight.

Shirley's body in his arms is cooling, heat fleeing faster and faster from her skin.

She is...

_Dead—the word has such a heavy finality to it._

He buries his face in her hair (_it smells of vanilla blossoms_) and sobs brokenly, while his hands are stained with scarlet.

Overhead the sky shatters, breaks like a fragile mirror of a dream.

_Don't worry, Lulu._

_I'll come back. I'll always come back, because…_

_I love you._

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A/N: Yep. It's depressing. But I wanted to see more LelouchxShirley. For anyone who was confused, this wasn't exactly meant to be an AU. I was thinking of Lelouch thinking about what life with Shirley could have been like if they had been a couple or married (take your pick) but it turns into a nightmare of guilt and melancholy. It sounded better in my head!

Also, correctly spelling irresistibly took me forever.

Please luff, give reviews.


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